Is Flirting a Thing of the Past?

            I think someone flirted with me today.  Why say “I think.”?  Well, frankly, because it doesn’t happen that much anymore.  And even though I thought I didn’t miss it, I realized that I really do.  I’m ashamed to say that my reaction to this flirting was dumb.  First I said “Excuse me?” and when he repeated the compliment, I laughed.  This man was in my age group (50ish) and had the look and demeanor of a life-long flirter.  He had roguish good looks – the kind of guy who 25 years ago I would have called “the bad boy type”.  I was always drawn to the bad boys, many good girls are.  Anyway, I attempted to redeem myself and have a short intelligent conversation before I made my escape.  Funny how that little interlude made me nostalgic for the days when I was in the game, “out there” (as George Constanza’s Mother would say) or to be blunt -- just younger and better looking. 

I can remember the very first time someone flirted with me.  I was probably about 13 and in line at the MacDonald’s in Eastover, MD.  Obviously it made a huge impression on me since that was 47 years ago.  I had on an outfit I’d bought with my baby sitting money and I was with a friend, not my parents.  I ordered fries and a coke and the young man behind the counter said something to me.  Not sure what he said, I politely repeated my order.  He just looked at me and smiled.  I mean really smiled -- with his eyes, his lips and his whole being.  Suddenly, I realized, he heard me-- he just wanted me to notice him.  God knows what I said, but I was keenly aware that in spite of being 13 (albeit tall for my age) and new to the game, this boy wanted me to notice him.  I walked away from MacDonald’s that day a new woman.  I had caught the eye of a 16 or possibly 17 year old boy.  This wasn’t some kid in the 6^th grade poking me in the back or my Dentist patting me on the head -- this was flirting.  I liked it. 

Thus began the slow dance of romance – the give and take of mutual attraction that culminates in the thrill of first love, heartbreak and an eventual adult relationship.  By now you’d think I’d be well versed in this flirting thing and pretty much done with it.  After all, I’ve had my share of crushes, two or three ‘first’ loves, a couple of serious flings and two husbands.  But I find, just short of 60, I may be back to square one.  Throughout my teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s, I grew accustomed to the attention of men (even though I didn’t always welcome it.)  But sometime around my mid-50s I began to notice something – I was becoming invisible.  Not to my friends, family, or colleagues, but to younger people in general and to men (young and old) in particular.  I’m not going to examine that whole invisibility thing in “older” women, because it’s been done and much better than I could do it.  This is merely about flirting. 

I think the gradual decline of flirting was a relief at first.  Putting a raincoat over your pajamas for a quick run to the 7-Eleven became a possibility, accomplished with nary a glance from the guys in the next car or the old coot buying cigarettes.  They don’t see you – but that’s okay, you don’t want to be seen.  But wait, I’m not dead!  I still care about my appearance and rarely go out without my hair in place and a little lipstick.  Though not a huge deal, today’s tiny little exchange made me feel good.  Maybe this guy gives everyone he waits on a little ego boost, maybe he always says something to women – young or old.  I really don’t care.  Why?  Because for a moment I was back in line at MacDonald’s and it was all ahead of me.   

I’m just saying…