This Thing Called Love

I recently attended the wedding of the son of a good friend of mind.  It had to be one of the best wedding weekends ever – fun, emotional, moving and joyous, it was definitely a unique and satisfying experience.  My friend, knowing my love of storytelling, asked me if I’d be willing to speak about the meaning of love at the rehearsal dinner.  I said I would, thinking there would be about 40 or 50 people at the event making remarks and toasts.  

Little did I know that there would be close to 200 people at the dinner and the “remarks & stories” would include songs song by bona fide Broadway actors, performances by accomplished pianists and guitar players, accompanying themselves with music and lyrics they’d penned especially for the bride and groom and a variety of poems and funny stories that were meaningful and memorable to the “about to be” newlyweds and their friends.  

Even though I’d written a short piece about “True Love” and was prepared to speak, I did wonder – What was I thinking?  I didn’t know if I was equipped to follow this multitude of young, accomplished lithe and lean performers with my modest story of middle-aged love.  

Never being one to shirk my responsibilities or back out on a promise, I gamely took the stage and shared my take on…

True Love

“It’s easy to be in love when you’re young and handsome; beautiful and strong; and healthy and vibrant. In spite of the heady, all-consuming blush of new love, sometimes there are little differences and disagreements, trust me it is still easy.  Your first true love is meant to be enjoyed -- cherish it, savor it and revel in every minute of it.  

When you’ve been together for many years there are lots of things that distract you from love – age, work, children, money, your feet, just life in general.  But that doesn’t mean that love is gone.  What is true love over time you might ask?  Is it always kissing good morning?  Is it little surprise gifts?  Is it a special date night?  Is it never going to bed mad?  It may be all these things or one of these things or none of these things?  It’s what works for you.  Or better still, what loves means to you.  

This is my story of true love.  When I was 55, after many, many years of high impact and step aerobics and a torn meniscus, I had to have my knee replaced.  The night after the operation, when I finally woke up I was deathly ill because I was allergic to Oxycontin, I was alone in a single room, in pain, and I had wet the bed... The Nurse was not answering my call.  

I struggled to an upright position, managed to grab the phone and dialed home. It was about 3:30 in the morning and it was snowing outside.  I reached my husband and I was sobbing, “You have to come, I’m sick, I hurt and no one will help me.”  He was a bit fuzzy in his response, but he didn’t yell or argue, he just said okay.  

A nurse arrived shortly and cleaned me up, phoned the Doc and got me some new pain meds. I must have dozed off, but when I woke up there was my husband, sitting by my bedside.  He hadn’t hesitated, he got up, he got dressed, he cleaned the snow off the car and he drove to the hospital to find me asleep…That’s Love.

Enjoy every minute of this day, this week, this year and prepare for the years ahead, I know your love is strong and you will be ready to face the challenges!”

As I recall, there was applause and the bride and groom gave me a hug after my talk.  What I did notice, as the evening came to a close and people began to say their Goodbyes, was that quite a few people “of a certain age” (my age) approached me – most gave me a big smile and thanked me for saying what people who have “loved another” for some time know to be true.  Love is wonderful in all its stages…

I’m just saying.