You Gotta Have Friends

I’ve spoken about the joys of volunteerism on occasion and how it gives you purpose, utilizes your natural skills and enriches your life.  Well, I’m back to that subject to examine how important it is to your social life.  My husband is away for the weekend – in Pittsburgh to see some baseball stadium, drink beer, eat Italian food and perhaps have some desultory conversation with his male friends.  I use “desultory” (des’el-tor’e) adj. 1. random, aimless, indiscriminate -- to describe their conversation because I have no idea what constitues conversation when it comes to men.  From what I can determine, they certainly don’t talk much about feelings, spouses, shoes or their weight.  I know for a fact that my husband has less personal information about his male traveling companions then I do about a woman I met last night.  Albeit, this woman was charming and outgoing, but I’m sure that our initial chat revealed more about our spouses, Alma Maters, parents and food preferences than my husband knows about his travelling mates – friends for some 40 years!  But that’s another entire blog post, this one concerns new friends. 

I like to imagine what I would have been doing last night if I had not become friends with a couple I met through my work as a docent.   Probably something like this -- after ironing, cleaning cat boxes and eating cheese, I settle down for a long evening of dozing off between watching a QVC “Today’s Special Value” presentation and eating more cheese.  Fortunately, I was invited to a surprise birthday party -- one that represents a real rite of passage in a person’s life.  Who among my older friends doesn’t remember their 30^th birthday?  I can tell you exactly what I did on mine, down to what I wore and every person who celebrated with me!  Even if you are not the remembering type, 30 is a milestone birthday, especially for us Boomers raised on the old saw “Don’t trust anyone over 30” and the Who’s admonition “Hope I die before I get old!”  It’s hard to believe that I ever thought 30 was OLD.

It seems that today’s 30-somethings still think 30 is old.  I didn’t disabuse them of this, they’ll find out soon enough.  You might ask what is our girl Pam doing hanging out with a bunch of 30-somethings?  It all stems from me being in a new environment and meeting new people.  Now don’t think for a minute I’ve abandoned my old (as in long-time) friends; just 3 weeks ago I attended a dear friend’s birthday party and had a ball.  The problem is many of my friends have moved away; some to other states and some to areas just too far away to pull off a spontaneous drop-by or a quick cup of coffee.  Plus, you’d be amazed at how busy retired people can be.  Not in the sense of 9-5, more like weekends and evenings and entire months spent in Ireland and West Palm Beach.  Yes, yet another perk of financially stable, healthy and active over 55 types – the freedom to do what you want.  So, as much as I love my friends for life, they are not always available. 

To tell the truth, the one thing I missed when I stopped working was the people.  I loved the easy banter with co-workers, the -- “What did ya do this weekend?  How is your Mom?  You’ll love the new Woody Allen movie!”  exchange of everyday activities that makes you part of something and eases the daily grind.  Let’s face it, for most people work is a big part of their existence.  I made true, long-lasting friendships in my career and stockpiled countess weird, goofy and hilarious stories that I share to this day.  Being a part of Strathmore’s volunteers fills that gap for me.  Even though I’m “part-time”, I’ve been included (May I say embraced?) by a group of intelligent, thoughtful, aware, kind, fun and dedicated young people.  I’ve been invited to their weddings, baby showers, barbecues, song-fests, band gigs and yes -- even their 30^th birthday parties.  As a result of this, I’m subject to the snowball effect – I meet their friends, their parents and in some cases their kids!  Ah, the possibilities are endless…well, maybe not endless, but certainly enough to keep me busy for the foreseeable future. 

I sometimes wonder if my little blog enterprise might degenerate into an easy and convenient way for me to carp about woes and the unfairness of aging.  No, I won’t allow it.  I am a lucky woman and grateful for my good fortune. 

I’m just saying…